I Run Around

Running is the most natural form of exercise

Trottin’ Time

Getting closer to the turkey trot. It will be my first time running this race and boy is it cold outside!!! Winter is officially here this week and I’m wondering what the bitter cold will feel like on my cheeks as I run.

I bought a new hat and gloves for running. The gloves are nice but I have a hard time with hats. I’m really sensitive about how my ears are covered by the hat. And I like that hat to not move around too much as I move. I have a really nice knit hat that fits my requirements perfectly but it is horrible for the cold cold because it is not very tightly knit. It’s more of a fashion piece. So, even though my head is covered….it’s really not.

Over the weekend I got back to the gym and worked out each day. I could tell today because I was really hungry! Tonight I’m resting – had a long workday and catching up on lots of important paperwork. Tomorrow I would like to go back to the gym but I need to finish some paperwork and I have another long work day. We’ll see.

Time for bed!!


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Winding down

Its been a long week. My dad came home today. I had to go to work so I don’t know what’s going on there.

Tomorrow I wake up early and meet a co-worker for coffee and Al-Anon chat. Then I’m going to try to make it to TRX, have a few hours off then it’s off to tutoring. I’m going to stop at the piercing place after tutoring then it will be time to go to my parents. I have to help my mom clean up my dad’s room because it was a mess. Drinks spilled and left to stick to the floor, full ashtrays sitting around, laundry, other what-nots. I don’t know what mental state my dad is going to be in. Will he know what happened over the last few days? Will he understand? Will he think it was complications from his other medical conditions apart from the drinking? Will he understand that he was in serious medical condition? Will it matter to him?

I want to have a heart to heart with him. Take him out of the house for some dessert or something, where it’s just him and I. I can tell him I understand how hard it must be for him to deal with all the physical pain he’s in due to his otherย  health complications, how all the doctors appointments and pills are frustrating. I want to know how he feels, what he wants, what he needs. What is it that you see is the issue? How can you be happier and healthier?

I’m going to try to be open minded even if he says something I don’t like. It has to be his process, not mine. He may want to keep drinking. Then I would say lets look at something else we can improve in his life. What else can we work on. Perhaps improving a different area of his life will leak over to other areas.

Some ideas I have are yoga, talk therapy, flotation therapy, nutritional cleanses, seeing a naturopathic doctor, massage.

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Ready to go

Tomorrow I leave my job of 7+ years. Kind of excited! Kind of nervous.

My dad might be coming home this weekend. Which I’m not real excited about. Then the real work begins. Going to the Al-Anon meeting yesterday helped me to remember to take care of myself and not try to control my dad’s behavior. I feel less stressed. But my mom and I will still have to be a presence in his life, a strong one. He has appointments for rehab counseling and I’d like to go with him to AA meetings if he would go. I hope he does at least go to one. Give it a shot, listen. What have you got to lose? I want to go to an AA meeting too and hear the alcoholics stories. I want to understand. I think I have an idea but you don’t really know what it’s like until it is you. It’s never been me to be an alcoholic. I’ve felt it in my body a few times when I did go through drinking stages. But for some reason it never stuck. I’ve never struggled much with addiction, unlike other members of my family. For some reason I would rather work through my problems then drink them away…because the problems are never really gone…they’re still there when you wake up or get through the hangover. And, if you keep drinking to really put it off, you create more and potentially bigger problems. Like with my dad. This time his kidneys were close to failing. When he stayed at the VA his insurance wouldn’t cover that so my parents have a couple thousand dollar medical bill to pay for on their retirement fixed income budget.

What’s it going to be like? Is he going to decrease his drinking? How long will it last? If he does drink again, what will happen? How bad will it get, what will be the havoc on his body and mind? Will he just stop? If he does I think we need to address the underlying issues – mental, physical, emotional. There is some reason(s) why he drinks and just stopping drinking probably isn’t going to stop those reasons.

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At the hospital

My dad was moved to a double room ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Those are never as restful as a single room. His single room was nice and spacious, had nice comfy furniture. It was quiet! I’m sorry but I really hate when there’s other people in my dad’s hospital room. These people don’t seem so bad though…they seem nice. Some of the past roommates were….annoying. Sorry! But I’m sure they feel the same way when they have less than optimum bunk mates. I just believe that environment can add to recovery and I want the best possible environment for my dad to get better.

The aide told me that he ate about 75% of his dinner, with her help. That’s more than he ate yesterday. So that’s good. I feel more optimistic today, or at least less stressed. I called the hospital during my lunch break today at work and got emotional. I ended up finding out that someone I work with has had experience with the issues surrounding alcoholism, so perhaps my tears were a good thing today. It helps when you have company. She reminded me of AA and Al-Anon meetings so while I’m at the hospital I looked up meetings in my area and there’s one tonight I can make in my neighborhood! I’m going to go.

I wish those curtain room dividers provided sound proofing as well. I don’t want to hear other peoples conversations and I don’t want to hear your TV. In the Veteran’s hospital they had small TV’s attached to the bed so it was more private.



Five things inside my fridge

Almond Milk – yummy in my cereal

Blueberry bagels – good for the morning and carb loading

T-bone steak – okay….probably should have marinated it or tenderized it before cooking

Salad mix – yummy, been glad I’m eating salad everyday

Blue Moon beer – nice clean taste

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My favorite hour of the day

It would either be 8am on a Saturday or Sunday because that’s when I wake up on my days off and my dog and I wrestle with each other in bed. The kitties try to join us but the dog says no. We get to snuggle and relax and I don’t have to rush off to make breakfast and coffee.

Or around 10pm because that’s when I get to settle down and chill on the couch watching one of my favorite shows.

There are many favorite hours of the day but those are the two that came to my head because 1) I did that this morning and 2) I’m going to do that tonight ๐Ÿ™‚

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Trapped inside of a movie

If I had to be trapped inside of a movie for 5 days, which movie would it be?

Well, I haven’t watched a movie in a while so I’m going to pick a tv show.

It would either be Breaking Bad or Once Upon a Time.

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10 things I’m grateful for today

1. I’m grateful for the weekend job that I have, that I’ve been able to work here for so long with such great bosses.

2. I’m grateful for my trainer at the gym. He’s a really nice guy.

3. For my animals – that I could give them homes, take care of them and snuggle with them and their warmth in the winter!

4. I’m grateful for my house. That I was able to find such a great place after breaking up with my fiancee and needing a place to live.

5. I’m grateful that rap music exists. I love it, the good stuff.

6. I’m grateful to be able to wake up and be happy, enjoying living on my own.

7. I’m grateful for my soda stream. Homemade pop tastes better. Is better for the environment and my pocket book.

8. I’m grateful for my parents helping me out so much.

9. I’m grateful for the awesome friends that I have now.

10. I’m grateful that I can run and exercise and want to use those abilities to help other people who maybe can’t.

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Black Parents: All therapy does not equal Crazy!

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Gypsy cats and ear infections

I have 5 cats. Two of them are kittens. They have tried jumping on pretty much everything in my house and most of the time they have succeeded. But sometimes they don’t…..they’ll end up flipping off chairs, rolling off tables, jumping into one another, sliding off of counters all hanging on by one little paw until they can’t anymore. It’s so comical. I check them for injuries when I see them fall then I laugh….and I like to think I’m laughing with them ๐Ÿ™‚

One of my older cats has had a chronic ear infection since about March of this year. She had surgery on her left ear and that ended up destroyed her ear drum. Now her left ear has been extra waxy and liquidy since then. She’s been to the vet a few times and he said she’s okay, its just extra drainage. But I don’t think it’s okay. It smells a little and either flows out of her ear or cakes up into hard clumps. The side of her ear below the pink part seems tender to the touch. For a while it cleared up when she was eating Evolve cat food. Then I ran out ๐Ÿ˜ฆ and couldn’t find it anywhere. Last week I went into a different grocery store and they had the Evolve food! So I bought some in hopes that the situation would clear up. It did a little but this morning she had some liquidy build up. I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad for my baby coocoo. I told her we’ll get to the vet soon. I wish there was something natural I could use that would clear it up.

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